My blog is my special place. It is my created world, a little compartmentalised safe and pretty world away from my broader reality. I don’t often allow my two worlds to collide but today I feel I need to ‘write out’ my feelings because I woke up so sad.
I have to go to court tomorrow and I don’t want to.
I have to go to court tomorrow to stand up before a judge to tell him I know what I am getting myself into by allowing a prisoner to use my home as his bail address. Clearly this is not something I would usually do. I have kids and my home is a creation as close in character to my blogging world that I can humanly make it. It is my sanctuary.
But this prisoner is my friend. And he is dying. He is so sick and he will not be with us next year. There is a chance he will not be with us in three months. I cannot bear the thought of him dying in such a hellish place as prison. He has lost so much weight and feels sick every day and he is so scared as the news he hears, and the test results he receives, just keep getting worse and worse. He has Stage 4 Metastatic Melanoma. It is in his head and his neck and his shoulder and his lungs. He is so scared.
So what would you do? Everything in me is battling to find the right answer. Except that it is glaring me in the face. There is pretty much only one answer. But I don’t like it. I don’t feel grown up enough. I am so sad. So, please don’t judge me…
Actually, if you are a friend of mine and know my prisoner friend too, please contact me. There is a chance we will be needing you to keep him company over the next little while.
Love to you all and thanks for reading this, and hopefully for understanding,
(P.S. I am already not alone in my support for him as I have a terrific house mate who also works in a similar field to me so she knows, probably better than me, the right channels and etc. to pursue to support him.)